Prayers...

I have somehow found this incredible network of friends who have been to Africa and have a desire to serve, whether from the states or by going. This morning I talked with my sweet friend Paula, who spent four months serving in South Africa. We got to pour our hearts out, joys, frustrations and contemplations. It was kind of a relief, I think something I've been needing to do for a few weeks.

Both of us have been in a place where this desire just burned hot in our hearts, yet we had no idea how to respond, or what to do, or couldn't understand why we simply couldn't go right that moment. Even turning to prayer was frustrating and overwhelming, because the process of what to pray for seemed impossible. How do you know what to pray for when you aren't there, or have never been there? The corruption, pain, evil, sickness, death...it is all so big, so hard to understand. How will my tiny prayers be effective?

I still don't have the answer. I don't know that I ever will, but what I do know is this:

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freeedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaing together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, goran inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who seaches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that h might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whome he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified." Romans 8:18-30

Courage

I keep meditating on this idea of courage and faith, and God keeps bringing me back to his word. In some small way, I'm feeling a bit like Joshua before the Israelites made it to the promised land. Not that I'm going in to take possession of a land I do not know, but I am directed to go to a land I do not know. To complete a task that I really cannot do on my own, but only with my God at my right hand.

I have this huge task ahead of me to raise the proper amount of funds and take off for Africa this fall. It seems daunting. I need to get about $5,000 to go, and half of that is the plane ticket alone. I'm seeing the deadline approach and part of me is scared, part of me wonders if I'll actually make it there, and as far as I can see, I still do not have a traveling companion to go with me. There are so many unknowns. Like, the daily life and my tasks I am to accomplish while I am there. What exactly will the work I am doing consist of? Is my going even worth it, or should I simply send the funds ahead of me? Am I even ready? The questions feel endless.

My conviction is this: God has a journey ahead of me, nothing will hinder that.

Psalm 27:13-14
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord."

Deuteronomy 31:7-8
Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land that the Lord has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall put them in possession of it. It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. do not fear or be dismayed."

Isaiah 41:8-10
But you, Israel, my servant,
Jacob whom I have chosen,
the offspring of Abraham, my friend;
you whom I took from the ends of the earth,
and called from its farthest corners,
saying to you, "You are my servant,
I have chosen you and not cast you off";
fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed,
for I am your God;
I will strengthen you,
I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

World Relief Next - Congo Trip

In my previous post, I told you a little bit about Beth and Ben who have both been wonderful mentors of mine the past few years. Well, they (along with four others) are currently in Rwanda, heading to Burundi with World Relief NEXT. They just left the Democratic Republic of Congo yesterday morning, and they have some amazing stories to share. You can see different stories and photos at the following links:

Ben's Blog
World Relief NEXT Blog

Beginnings

I love to blog. I hope that I don't get too busy to keep this sucker updated. This will be the story of my journey to Africa and back. I have this small feeling deep in my heart that this trip to Africa will be just the tip of the iceberg. I believe God has an incredible adventure planned for my life, and that this particular one will spur on the purpose of what I am to do with my talents in years to come so that I may glorify God. I hope that you can stay tuned to the journey.

Let me tell you a little bit about Africa. If you've followed my notes on Facebook you'll be familiar with this story. But for those of you just joining, this will be a good bit of background on the WHYs.

I was always afraid of loving God too much when I was younger...yes, it sounds absurd. I figured that if He loved me back too much He might send me far away. Like, to Africa. I never wanted to go. In fact, I avoided thinking about the place too much for fear of it. But as I look back at my life, beginning in my mid-teens, I can see God weaving my desire together.

There was this couple at my church in Colorado who lived and served in Mozambique for quite some time. They spoke so fondly of it, and loved the people with something much deeper than I understood. Zip forward to Bend about 6 years, and I moved in with who I fondly call my BS (big sister), Beth. God seriously put her life on a fast track around the world using her gift of shooting video and editing for His Kingdom. And through Beth I met Ben and Lauren, who also love Jesus like crazy and use their gifts (photography is just one of them) at all costs to serve God. I watched these three in particular for a few years before my life started to unwind. And when my life crumbled - the life I had created for myself - I began to see God, know His love and compassion, and desire new things like I had never done before.

I sew. I love it. And I love running my little company. That is my gift. For so long, I knew that is what I loved to do, but never understood why. I didn't feel like God could use that in any kind of powerful way. I felt as though my gifts were worldly and had nothing to do with God. I resented that like you wouldn't believe. UNTIL God showed me one day that my gifts absolutely must be used to His glory. And then He showed me how.

One day in church I heard about an organization in Africa that taught women how to sew, thus giving them an opportunity of new life. To be able to provide for their families: daily provision, medical attention and education that they wouldn't receive otherwise. And suddenly it clicked in my heart. I was to allow God to weave my passions into something He already had waiting for me. That something is Africa.

I'll leave it at that for now, and continue to write the story as the days pass on. There are many more fine details that I cannot wait to tell you. For instance, the little things that God has done to direct my steps. Those are my favorite things to remember and share.

Ephesians 3:14-21