The Curve of the Earth

I'm in a season where I appreciate being alone more than I ever have. I'm fine tuning how I spend my time. I am allowing myself time to get lost in my thoughts and turn those thoughts over to my Creator. I am listening.

All the while I feel trapped, stuck in a little eddy of life soon to be spat out further downstream on the next adventure. I'm trying to learn from the eddy.

Each day I focus on being content with where I am. Each day I think about faith and hope and wonder if I would have them if I were a Congolese woman. If I were enslaved in prostitution. If I were living a life in bondage. If I had less than I do. I wonder if my faith is superficial because my life is easy. I'd like to say that it isn't superficial, that my faith is an intrinsic part of my being. Maybe I'll find an answer to that question when I move to Central Africa (or India, or Indonesia, or Pakistan...). Or, maybe this is a time when God cultivates my soul and my heart and my character to be a steadfast and faithful servant to Him in the future.

Sometimes I feel wilted like a little flower that was deprived of water for a time, a flower that reaches for the sun in hopes of being revitalized to live as she were meant to.

And sometimes I feel like a heroine in the making.

Most of all, I feel human.

I wrote the following as I dreamt of a better tomorrow, as I prayed for my dear friend Marie-Claire in the Congo, as I allowed God to wash over my thoughts.

The Curve of the Earth

Every line, every arc
in focus, total clarity
complete mystery
imponderable strength
fear and questioning
deeper than the beat of a broken heart
still living, still moving
still pressing forth
a flower, reaching
slightly wilted
stretching beyond itself
gaining strength
from the warming sun
her hope rising
from the curve of the earth
as the days press forward
and her children
growing, learning
reminders of a blissful time
and anticipation for the better.

This photo I took in Santa Barbara. The little, slightly wilted jasmine flower just south of center and perfectly focused from stem to each petal was some source of inspiration for this piece. I look at this photo often. It takes me to another place in my heart, another adventure that exists within my own hope.